Easter

Easter may be one of my favorite times of the year.  Its springtime and the weather is usually great.  And it's a great celebration of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross and his resurrection from the grave.  It doesn't get much better than that!

The girls both got visited by the Easter Bunny this year and really cleaned up.  Well Avery cleaned up.  Ellie doesn't know the difference.

After checking out all the goodies we cleaned ourselves up and got ready for church. You can't be a girl and not get a new dress for Easter.  Even at my age I feel compelled to buy something new! This year was no exception.

We tried to get some pictures after church.  Avery was not the most cooperative.  Even as I was writing this post she was looking at pictures with me and said "I was mad during those pictures." I said "Why"? She said "Because I was ready to go!"  There you have it!

Avery was ready to go because she knew we were headed to my parents house. My parents are so gracious and usually take the girls most Sundays after church.  They've been doing this since Avery was a baby and we are so thankful.  Of course, the love it too.  Avery wasn't real happy when she learned that Ronnie and I would be spending the afternoon with Gigi and Grandpa too.  She likes to have them all to herself!

Not only did my parents feed us but they also had eggs for Avery to hunt.  Full of money and gum.  Two things Avery loves.  I've only recently let Avery start chewing gum so it's quite a treat for her!

Ellie decided to sit out on this hunt and she said she'll catch it next year. She opted for a nap instead.  I'm not sure how Avery will feed having to share her eggs with her sister next year! If she's anything like she is now, she'll share just about anything with Ellie! 

We had a great Easter.  Next year Ellie will be 1 and Avery will be 4!  I can't wait to see what that brings us!

More adventures to come!

Post Partum

I debated whether or not I wanted to write this blog post but I figured I would since it is party of my story.

After Ellie was born I had a bout of post partum depression.  I know. I know.  How could that be with this cute little face?!

I'm pretty sure I was in denial about it for quite some time.  I know I had several friends assure me that it was normal and it was okay if I was, but I didn't think that it could happen to me.  If you talked to me during that time, it probably included my crying at some point during the conversation.  And if you texted or emailed me, I probably responded to you tearfully at one point or another.

I think the tell tale realization for me was when I had my 6 week follow up appointment after Ellie was born.  I dropped Ellie of at my parents and tearfully left. I sat in the examination room waiting on the doctor trying to compose myself.  The PA walked in and in her most cheerful voice asked "How are you?! How's the baby?!". I immediately burst into tears.  Yep, one of my finer moments.  I have no idea what the poor PA thought initially but I'm certain I wasn't the first girl that sat crying in the exam room.  I let her know that the crying was my problem and I felt like I couldn't pull myself out of this funk I was in.

The sweet PA talked to me about it and we decided that it was best that I start some medication for the post partum depression.  She assured me that it was a temporary thing and we'd revisit it in a few months and see how I was doing.

Now, I'm fairly certain that post partum looks different to everyone.  I felt like I had a pretty mild case but how would I know? Looking back I realize what all the signs were and I totally ignored them.  Here's what it looked like in me.

Anxiety-I was pretty anxious about everything involving this new little being in my care. I couldn't imagine how I could take care of her and Avery. At night every little sound she made woke me up and put me in a state of dread.  I would wake up every morning and feel sick that I had 2 kids to take care of!

Crying- the crying wasn't too bad but now I realize that it went on longer than it should have.  So many times Ronnie would come home and I would cry to him about how I didn't feel like myself.  Hmmm, red flag?  Probably so. Ronnie was such a trooper though.  Bless his heart.  If you need a pep talk, he's your man!

Breast Feeding- I realize now that I hated breast feeding and the process was driving me crazy.  Don't get me wrong, breast feeding is great. I'm all for it.  I wish it could have worked out for me but I couldn't make it work.  I was losing my sanity.  So many times I sat with Ellie feeding and I was crying.  I couldn't take it any more.  I had to stop.

Sleep Deprivation- Of course new parents are sleep deprived.  That's the "joy" of having a baby right?  But the sleep deprivation combined with the depression was not a healthy combination.  I was sleep deprived but I found that a lot of times I couldn't nap when I had the opportunity.  I had too much going on in my brain and couldn't relax.  I was too worried about stuff which added to the anxiousness.

Bonding- If I could tell any new mom one thing I would tell them this.  It's okay if you don't bond with your baby right off the bat.  In all likelihood you won't.  Oh, you will love this child always but bonding is a tough thing.  Ellie was a fussy baby.  If she was awake she was fussy.  Not necessarily crying, just fussy and not content.  It's hard to bond with a fussy baby.  I was certain that I'd never love her as much as I loved Avery.  How could I?  She was so fussy!    I loved the girl but she was quite the challenge.

Newborn Naps - Ellie wasn't a great napper.  She did okay at night but naps were horrible. She'd only nap for about 15-45 minutes and I was about to lose my mind.  This is pretty normal but when you have a fussy baby anytime you can get them to sleep is a blessing.  Ellie wouldn't nap in her crib for the longest time.  I'd have to carry her around in the sling.  Of course then she slept like a champ! But again, I was losing my sanity carrying her around all the time!

Eventually things started to calm down.  I got some medication, Ellie started to be more content and everything finally started to fall into place.  Ellie was a good 3 months old before I finally thought "Okay, I can do this." 

I'm not sure if it was the medication or just Ellie getting a little older but I finally started to feel like myself.  I lowered my expectations of naps, I wasn't so anxious all the time, I stopped worrying about how much sleep she was getting during the day, we bonded, I got some naps, and I dropped the guilt of not breast feeding. 

Now, I'm feeling like myself again and weaning myself off the meds.  I actually get stuff done around the house and can't imagine not having these two girls!  We are all starting to find our groove and figure this whole thing out.  There were so many people that helped me during that time- constantly sending me texts, emails, phone calls, prayers.  I'm forever grateful.

So there you have it.  That's my story of my post partum depression.  It looks different in everyone and lots of people deal with in various ways.  At the end of the day, I love these girls and my life with them! God is good!

Ellie Abigail: 4 months

Ellie Bo Belly,
My, oh my how you've changed!  Dr. F was right when he said you'd be like a different baby at 4 months! You give us lots of smiles, laughs and we can't get enough of those sweet dimples.  We have so enjoyed playing with you this past month.  You are really starting to become a "big girl".  Avery is still so in love with you and your face lights up when you see your big sis! 

At 4 months you:

• wear size 2 diaper, size 3 night time diaper
• are wearing 3-6 month clothing.  You can wear a few 0-3 month things but we are starting to put away most of the 0-3 month stuff.
• are wearing size 1 shoes.
• got your toes painted for the first time this month! They were so cute and got lots of compliments!
• roll over from front to back!  What an accomplishment!
• are grasping at more and more toys.  You love putting them straight to your mouth. You are starting to notice and play with a lot more of your toys too.
• still wake up around 2 AM and 6 AM to eat.  You are ready for the day around 7:30 AM.  We are so ready for you to drop that 2 AM feeding!
• go to bed between 7 PM-8 PM.  It all depends on when you wake up from your last nap.
• take 3-4 naps each day.  Your naps are generally 30 min-1 hour and your last nap is usually 2+ hours. 
• are still swaddled for all sleep.  We tried to wean you with one arm out but you didn't seem to sleep as well.   
• love to stand on your legs.  You are getting so strong!
• have started laughing.  You laugh the most at your big sis.  We think she's pretty funny too!
• usually eat a 6ish ounce bottle every 4 hours.
• love to talk.  We are thinking we are going to have another talker in the family just like your big sis.  I have no idea where you girls get it!
• are doing SO much better in the car.  No more screaming and crying on car trips.  Now you usually fall asleep or sit in the back content to look out the window or talk to your buggy friends.
• are not a fan of tummy time but you still love bath time.  You have really started splashing with your feet.
• have lost a ton of hair!  Good thing mommy has lots of headbands!
• had a check up with Dr. F.  You weighed 12 lbs 8 oz (25th percentile), 24 inches (50th percentile) and have a 44 cm head (50th percentile). Dr F said you were long and lean and look great!

Ellie, you are really starting to get a personality and we see it shine everyday.  You are so lovey, sweet and curious.  You never miss a beat. We thank God that He gave us You!  We love you sweet girl!

Easter Egg Hunt

Today was one of my favorite days at the our local Community Center-  the annual Mayor's Easter Egg Hunt.  I first brought Avery to this Easter Egg Hunt 3 years ago.  Ronnie was still in public accounting and working every Saturday and I thought this would be fun for Avery.  We had a blast then and we had a blast today.

We started out at our favorite spot: face painting.  Last year Avery got her face painted like a tiger.  This year she wanted something different.  She was so sweet sitting in the chair getting her face painted! Such a big girl!
 

This is what our girl was transformed into.

Okay, so maybe transformation isn't exactly the right word.  But the face painting artist did this butterfly in all of about 90 seconds.  She's pretty awesome and we never try to miss face painting at any event at the Community Center!

Next up was the big event, the Easter Egg Hunt! Ellie was dying to get out there and hunt eggs but Ronnie wouldn't let her. 

See?  Ellie is pouting. She can really stick out that bottom lip.

Avery did get to hunt eggs and she had a great time.  Ronnie gave her multiple pep talks while we waited.  I guess they worked because Avery filled up her basket with eggs!

We caught up with our friends and neighbors after the hunt. They have twin girls Avery's age and they are the sweetest friends (most of the time). The girls couldn't wait to get to the bouncy castle.  I'm not sure if Avery was more excited to being going to the bouncy castle or that she was getting to see some of her favorite friends.

I love this picture!

We ended the fun with lunch at a diner across the street.  Everyone filled up on burgers and fries (and tater tots and onion rings) and declared the morning Easter Egg Hunt a success! 

I love how Avery is holding on to her friend Natalee's arm.  Such dolls!

We love going to events at the Community Center!  Avery always has a great time.  We can't wait until Ellie is big enough to hunt eggs too!  It will such an adventure!

More adventures to come!

Disclaimer:

1. Please do not judge Avery's fingernails in the opening picture.  Her manicurist has been a little busy (that's me and by busy I mean lazy). Also fingernail polish looks good on a 3 year olds nailsfor approximately 42.8 seconds.  And then it starts chipping.
2. Disregard my childs belly in the picture of her holding up her Easter basket.  Her stylist is still working on her spring and summer wardrobe.  Avery has been plagued with having to wear things from last year.  Oh the horror!
3. Yes I realize that there is only 1 picture of Ellie in this entire post.  I am still finding my groove with 2 kids.  While I am proud on most days that I can have them both fed and dressed by 9 AM, taking pictures of both of them is still a challenge.  I'll get better and promise to do better next time! Thank you for your understanding!  

Saturday Morning

On most Saturday mornings Ronnie is on Daddy duty.  Of course he doesn't mind.  On this particular Saturday morning, there was an impromtu photo session with the girls still in their PJ's.  Broozer even makes an appearance.

Here's something you may not know about Avery.  She LOVES wearing skirts.  I mean LOVES wearing them.  She cries if we make her wear pants and whines if she happens to have to wear a dress.  I don't get it.  She even wants to wear skirts to bed.  So we have a few skirts that are a little too short for the day but perfect for wearing to bed.  That's what she has on in these pictures.

Broozer had to get in on the action.  What I love is that Avery has already adorned her hair with not one, but two headbands.  Girl has fashion sense!

I've said it before.  Avery is so in love with her little sister.  She is always in Ellie's face giving her hugs and kisses and telling her she loves her. She loves to make Ellie smile and can't wait to teach her everything she knows. These two girls are going to be the best (and worst) of friends and I can't wait!

I'm busy...washing my hair.

Avery doesn't usually get a bath every day.  She's 3.  She doesn't really need one every day.  At least not during this time of year.  The summer is a different story. 

Anyway, she usually gets a bath every other day. Although,  Avery's hair can get pretty gross at times and the other night Ronnie couldn't handle it.

So he plopped her up onto the sink and washed her hair beauty school style.  Avery thought this was hilarious.

It was pretty humourous to see her laid out on the counter and Ronnie washing her hair.  So of course I had to pick up the camera.

So next time you call and we tell you Avery is busy getting her hair washed, she's really busy getting her hair washed!

More adventures to come!

Ellie Abigail: 3 months

Ellie Abigail,
Things were much better this month.  We think you have finally turned the corner and things are starting to calm down.  We love all the smiles we get and all the things you have to "say".
At three months you:

• eat right around 4 ounces at each feeding, every 3 hours
• go to bed between 7:30-8 PM and will usually sleep until around 3 AM.  Sometimes I will give you a dream feed before I go to bed and you will last longer.  Last night you slept until 4:45 AM! 
• usually ready for the day around 8 AM.  You always wake up happy!
• still sleep swaddled on your back.
• are usually put down in your crib drowsy but awake at night and you can usually put yourself to sleep.
• typically nap every 90 minutes for about 45 minutes.  Today you gave mommy a 2.5 hour nap in your crib!  If I could have given you ice cream for that I would have!
• wear 0-3 month clothes and size 1 shoes.
• wear size 1 diapers during the day, size 2 at night.  We really are going to start cloth diapering soon.
• have discovered your hands!  And you love reaching for your toys on your play mat.  You are such good friends!
• still hate being on your tummy...just like your sister.
• have started hanging out in your Bumbo chair more.  You even join us at the table during dinner!  We love having family dinner!
• have started taking your paci more.  Usually just for sleeping though.
• love your parrot friend on your bouncer.  You can even reach out and play with him. 
• hate the car.  It's rare that we can take a trip in the car without your screaming.  We are hoping your will outgrow that.  Really soon!
• still have most of your hair although you've lost some in the back.

• you still have those dimples that we can't get enough of.
• still have a sister that can't get enough of you. There's not a day that goes by that Avery doesn't say "I love my Ellie!"  She is so proud of you and wants to show you off to all her friends.  She is the best big sister!

We are so happy that God gave you to us.  We are the perfect family with you and can't wait to see what more you will be able to do soon! We love you and those squishy little cheeks!

I couldn't finish the blog without some goofy pictures of your sister Avery.